← cd ..

anyways love letters don't last

By Salonee Verma


        class Main {
            public static void main(String[] args) {
              LoveLetter dearGirlfriend = new LoveLetter();
              System.out.println("and anyways loving looks a lot like leaving when your mother yells at you and says people like you are unnatural and sin and you can't find anyone who cares except for you know, Her, but by that time, there's nothing left for you in that town so you pack up your bags and leave for college and wear tight jeans to hook ups and drink coffee with boys and girls and sometimes you remember Her but never enough to look Her up again and see what's going on in Her life.");
              System.out.println("and anyways did She ever go to college like you? god you hope so because you can't fathom her being stuck in that town, alone, with your mother, who holds the rage of an entire people in her veins, all probably directed towards Her, even though you were the one who kissed Her first.");
              System.out.println("and anyways remember when you were writing Her love letters and making promises and pretending you'd be together forever? god what a joke that was huh, you wonder if she ever thinks about them late at night when there's nothing else to think about if you're alone without a warm body near you, curled into your chest, entangling your legs.");
              System.out.println("and anyways a few years from now you'll get that apartment in nyc you always used to tell Her you'd live in when you're older and you get dragged out to a new restaurant by the guy you fooled around with in middle school and he kisses you on the cheek when he says, 'look i love you but you gotta stop moping', and you say, 'i'm not moping i love you too', and then he says, 'you're lying so i brought someone here to meet you.'");
              System.out.println("you follow his gradient eyes over to the door where--------");
              for (int i = 0; i < 5; i++) {
                System.out.println("it's Her.");
              System.out.println("and anyways.");


    class LoveLetter {
        private static String yourName;
        private static int timeLeft;
        private static boolean loveYou;
        public LoveLetter() {
          yourName = "just for us";
          //no one gets to know your name
          // it belongs to you only and i
          //don't want to burden you with love
          // it's a strange thing anyways
          timeLeft = (int)((Math.random()*25)+1);
          //never enough time left
          // so we snatch it for ourselves,
          //big-hearted but always scared
          // of losing each other
          loveYou = true;
          //always always always always
          // always always always always alw
          //ays always always always al
          // ways always always always always alwa
        public static void setTimeLeft(int newTime) {
          newTime = timeLeft;
          //tick tock goes your digital watch
          // gleaming in the last lights of the night
          //maybe next year we'll have better luck
          // i kiss you anyways
        public static int getTimeLeft() {
          return timeLeft;
          //stop checking the calendar you tell me
          // one day when we're sitting on your bed
          //behind locked doors and underneath the blankets
          // i look at you and smile anyways
        public static void epistolaryRomance (int timeLeft) {
          for (int i = 1; i <= timeLeft; i++) {
            System.out.println("Years Gone By: " + i);
            System.out.println("I still love you: " + loveYou);
            if (i == timeLeft) {
              System.out.println("I'll always love you, I think");
              System.out.println("But if you want to leave, then");
              System.out.println("I'll buy your train ticket myself");
              System.out.println("It's because I love you that I will");
              System.out.println("        Love, your girlfriend");
              //those will be my last words to you unless
              // you really do still love me but you're either
              //dead or dying or stolen away from me by filial piety
              // if that == true, then i'll kiss you again anyways
        //we'll keep dreaming of an apartment in nyc
        // pinterest boards && college && cooking &&
        //you tuck my hair behind my ears and kiss my forehead
        //  anyways i love you

Press the green arrow to run the program.

Artist's Note

Inspired by queer Asian-American poetry themes, this piece of runnable code fiction was written in Java.
Salonee Verma is an Indian-American emerging writer from Virginia. Her work has been previously featured in BLANK Magazine NYC and assorted local magazines and has been recognized in the Scholastic Arts & Writing Awards. Find her online at saloneeverma.carrd.co.